25 signs you’re now a Lagosian

Moving (back) to Lagos can be an exhausting experience. the city bustles with life, energy and hunger, and its easy yo get overwhelmed by the never ending hustle. This is also one of the best things about Lagos though, and while i keep saying i hate it here, I appreciate how special it is here. Check out the list below, and see if there’s any similar experiences

1. Every rainy season feels like the longest one in history


You’ve also become well educated about the effects of global warming

2. The words “Third mainland bridge” put fear into you


Its 3 hours of your life you don’t ever get back.

3. You don’t consider Ghana to be international travel


not when you know they all wish they were from Lagos

4. You can only stand Abuja people (AKA but we don’t have traffic) for about 10 minutes

Just stop talking.

Just stop talking.

And they smell a bit funny too

5. You’d give out your bank details before you share your favourite shawarma guy


When you find a good thing, you keep it.

6. You’ve had a near death experience at Likwid Lounge

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Tear gas, flying bottles, stampedes. It’s basically turn up or die trying

7. It seems like every single one of your friends is getting married soon


like every. single. one.

8. One of your friends is a pastors kid who probably does drugs


They’re the absolute worst kids

9. You’ve found yourself arguing on the side of Bola Tinubu before


And you’re at the Shoprite toll gate, you glance at the Oriental, pay your toll fee, and feel quietly ashamed

10. You’re never more than 2 degrees of seperation from Bayo of Orange couture


You don’t know him, but all your cool friends do

11. You hate people that jog on the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge


They’re all pretentious new-money farts..

12. One of your friends went to University of Buckingham


And they always have the best stories about Nigerian Law school

13. You pay your taxes, but you have no idea how they’re computed

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The fear of LIRS is the beginning of wisdom

14. You’ve been jogging on the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge


Because obviously you’re a pretentious new-money fart

15. You think the term “Swimming cars” is perfectly normal


‘Fashola is working, Lagos is sinking’

16. In fact, you could probably write a ‘How-to’ manual on the subject. 


Switch off AC, Curse Bola Tinubu, Drive really slowly and make sure no one splashes water on your car

17. You don’t have proof, but you know there are definitely zombies behind steering wheels


And you almost died on No Horn day

18. You’ve fought a LASTMA officer before


Because someone needs to.

19. You think Dj Sose is just a normal guy who happens to be at a lot of parties


Face tattoos aren’t nearly the strangest things you see everyday

20. You would totally donate money to a charity called “Compensation for Ikorodu residents who work in Victoria Island”

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Because no one has to go through all that pain.

21. You’ve caught yourself complaining about how pretentious people are, or how you see the same people at the club


22. But Friday night is still Turn up night. Standard.

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23. You discover more new music (and their dances) at weddings than on TV


And what happens there stays there

24. You’ve done the ‘Lagos Jump’ at Afropolitan vibes


Because Bantu is awesome

25. You sometimes fantasise about living a slow, green life in calabar or somewhere


Lagos is too hectic all the time

26. But you know you’ll probably never leave. Lagos is home.



5 thoughts on “25 signs you’re now a Lagosian

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